Loving Two

Going back to work
This is my last week at home before I go back to work. I have been so lucky to have 5 months at home with my sweet Oliver. We finally seem to have a bit of a routine -- he's napping better, we manage to get out once or twice a day, I get the laundry and the dishes done, I make dinner almost every night, and I am enjoying it (and I don't normally enjoy doing dishes, laundry or cooking... LOL). Clearly, I have mixed feelings about going back to work, but I knew that I would feel this way. I felt the same way when I went back to work after I had Miles. But, I also remember how, once I got past feeling sad and guilty, I enjoyed being back at work and felt a different sense of accomplishment. And, the best part of the day was the end of the work day -- I was going home to my little boy and my husband. I know it will be the same this time around.

Luckily, Oliver will be at home with family for 4 more weeks which should make the transition back to work easier for me. Derek's mom is watching him, then my mom, and then Derek. Oliver will then go to the same home daycare (which we LOVE) with Miles when he's almost 6 months old.


Big brother Miles
A lot of people ask me how Miles is as a big brother and if he's been jealous. I respond by saying that Miles is two and a half, so when he does get upset at something, it's hard to say if he's jealous or if he's just acting his age. Miles is a pretty passionate and emotional little boy and Derek and I think he's been an awesome big brother. Sure, he has his occasional temper tantrums, but so do I! :) He's very sweet and gentle with Oliver and he doesn't seem to get jealous very often. He loves to help us with Oliver and he never gets bothered by Oliver's crying. I love watching Oliver grow -- almost as much as I love watching Miles and Oliver grow as brothers. I know that there are many bumps ahead, but I also know that there are many special loving moments ahead as well.



When I was pregnant with Oliver, I found this poem/writing (below) and it was perfect for how I felt/feel as a mom of two kids.

~ Loving Two ~

I walk along holding your 2-year old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.

Suddenly, I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.

And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?

Then he is born and I watch you.

I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me," and I hear myself telling you in mine..."I can't."

Knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry, I cry with you.

I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.

A relationship we can never have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being and feeling almost guilty.

I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity...then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass and we are settling into a new routine.

The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.

There are new times -- only now we are three (well, four).

I watch the love between you grow.

The way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you, as I have for so long.

I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.

I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you.

I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my answer is finally answered to my amazement.

Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.

And although I realize that you have to share my time, I know you'll never share my love.

There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.

I love and thank you both for blessing my life.

~Author Unknown